So, your wedding is weeks away but instead of counting down the days, you’re doubting whether or not you should get on with the wedding. What if no one shows up? What if something goes wrong? What if everything goes wrong? Don’t worry — you’re not alone. It’s common for couples to feel on edge as their wedding day approaches.
Pre-wedding jitters vs. cold feet
Pre-wedding jitters shouldn’t be mistaken for cold feet. The former is when you’re simply worried about the wedding itself, while the latter is when you’re considering calling it off.
If the cause of your stress is simply the pressure to throw the “best” wedding possible, or the thought of having to live up to your guests’ expectations, then you have pre-wedding anxiety. It will go away as soon as your wedding is over. However, if your feelings are rooted in something more serious (e.g. you aren’t ready for marriage), you may want to cancel your wedding as this is a sign of cold feet. Also, if you aren’t looking forward to life after your wedding, that’s a sure sign that you shouldn’t say your “I dos”.
If you’re experiencing pre-wedding anxiety, we’ve got you covered. Here are a few tips on how to deal with jitters:
1. Be honest about your feelings
Denying your feelings won’t make them go away — it will only make them worse. The first thing you should do is allow yourself to feel your feelings. Understand that pre-wedding stress happens to everyone (even to couples who look like they’ve got everything under control) and that it’s OK to feel that way.
Don’t downplay how you feel — instead, talk about your fears and worries with someone you trust, such as your best friend or a family member. Remember, it’s better to let your emotions out than to bottle them up. You’ll feel a lot better once you get your feelings off of your chest.
2. Create a checklist
Many brides have pre-wedding jitters because they’re worried they might have forgotten a thing or two. To save yourself from stress, create a list of things you need to do. Then, split up your tasks in order of their importance. For instance, you may want to set a wedding date first so that guests have enough time to RSVP, and then choose a venue once you have a final headcount.
A week before your wedding, go through your list to make sure you haven’t forgotten anything. That way, you can rest assured that you’ve completed all of your to-dos.
3. Do fun stuff
You don’t need to throw yourself into wedding planning 24/7. You may be a bride-to-be, but that’s not all that you are. Don’t forget to make time for the things that you want to do, whether that’s going to the gym, taking a walk, going window shopping, or simply staying at home. It’s a good idea to designate one “wedding-free” day a week so you don’t end up feeling overwhelmed.
Note that if you spend all of your time on wedding preparations, you will end up stressing yourself out. When this happens, there’s bound to be tension between you and your partner, so try not to be in wedding planning mode all the time.
4. Spend time with your partner
Counterintuitive as it sounds, weddings can cause couples to grow distant from each other. From choosing a wedding venue to coordinating with vendors, you’ll be so busy with wedding planning that you’ll forget to spend time with your fiancé. Even if a happily-ever-after is waiting for you, now isn’t the time to lose your connection with your partner. The distance can lead you to wonder whether or not you should go through with your wedding.
If you’re stressed about your big day, talk about it with the person whom you’ll be spending the rest of your life with. By confiding in your partner, you will feel more secure, knowing that you’re in this together. And if you feel that the sparks are fading away, rekindle the romance. Go away on the weekend, wind down with some wine, or plan date nights where you don’t discuss anything wedding-related.
5. Accept that your wedding won’t be perfect
Embrace the fact that your wedding won’t be perfect. It’s easy to get swept up in planning the best wedding (one that’s worthy of being in Martha Stewart Weddings), but don’t stress yourself out about it. The reality is that some things are bound to go wrong at every wedding, whether it’s the bridesmaids showing up late, the dress being a bit too tight, the page boy losing the rings, and the list goes on.
You can’t control everything, so go with the flow and accept that mistakes can happen. By acknowledging that things may not go exactly as planned, you’ll be able to free yourself from pre-wedding anxiety.
6. Remember why you’re doing this
Always remember that you’re getting married not because you want to throw a big wedding, but to be together. If you’re struggling with pre-wedding jitters, just ask yourself why you accepted your partner’s promise ring in the first place. Write down what made you fall in love with them, and reminisce about your favorite memories such as your first date.
Another way to combat pre-wedding jitters is by looking forward to the life that’s waiting for you. Picture yourself doing things together, such as starting a family, building a home, and more. Focus on what’s waiting for you, not on planning the perfect wedding.
Feeling worried before your wedding may be normal, but don’t let it get to you. As long as you’re sure about the person you’ve chosen to be with forever, there’s nothing to worry about. Trust that your wedding will be beautiful.